This is the time of year when our emotions can get the best of us. Seeing all those cute couples and families might give singles a tinge of sadness. And of course, you will be asked about your relationship status from those concerned parties, yet again. But cheer up! Instead of staying at home on the sofa under your favorite binky eating egg nog ice cream and wondering if you should have given your last boyfriend one more chance, get out and enjoy time with loved ones.

Not being booed up gives you the freedom to do anything you want on your own schedule. Hop from house to house in search of the best mac n’ cheese, take a Caribbean cruise, visit relatives out of town, treat yourself to a day at the spa or help serve those in need. The possibilities are endless.

Here are Three Tips for Single Ladies on the Holidays:

1. Skip the Holiday Hustle-Saving money on gifts is a plus to being single during the holidays. The only people I really buy presents for are my parents. When attending an event at someone’s home, I bring a bottle of wine or a dessert. No need to get out in the crowded stores or cook a big meal dealing with the prep and cleanup of it all.

Photo: Black Bride


2. Host an Epic Holiday Party-Invite some fun people over or meet up at a local spot and let the festivities begin. This year I’m taking part in a “Bring One” mixer at a popular restaurant in my city. Each lady attending brings an eligible bachelor whom she’s never dated and not interested in like a relative, family friend or business associate to meet another single at the event. If nothing else we increase our network.



3. Go On a Date-You’re not the only one who is single on the holidays. If you’re open to being set up on a date (because we know someone is going to offer), be clear about what you’re looking for. In my experience the folks doing the intro do not gather enough information to make an educated decision regarding whether or not this “great person” is right for you. They just want the matchmaking credit.


One of my best friends tried fixing me up with her coworker, a good guy, handsome and clearly employed. But failed to find out how long it had been since his last relationship, which actually just ended at the time. So, he was rebounding and wound up getting back together with his ex, shortly after our first date.

At the basic level it is important to me that I find the guy attractive, he is emotionally and physically available, kind, has a relationship with God, respectful, reliable, well groomed, financially stable, has his own place and a clean dependable car. Just because he attends church regularly doesn’t negate the fact that he lives with four roommates at 40 years old. In short, ask questions before you agree to the hook-up!

Whatever you choose to do or not do, the holiday season doesn’t have to be a lonely time. Take advantage of days off doing the things that bring you joy and peace. Happy Holidays!


Entertaining for the holidays?  Don’t stress out, keep it simple with 5 tips from Coretta Gray.




Sadia Sanders on Email
Sadia Sanders
Creator at Urban Spinster
I am a single life expert using my experiences to teach other singles to live their lives confidently.